The greatest connections often happen when we least expect them, provided we are willing to drop our assumptions. It is truly amazing what we learn about others and the world once we set aside our biases and humbly inquire into the life of others.
Connecting Beyond Social Constructs
So, I walked into our local Smith’s store one afternoon and immediately noticed this gentleman rolling through the aisles in his wheelchair like he owned the place. Something about him was instantly inviting. In a typical Charles fashion, I approached him and I was immediately met with a Fist Bump. In that single, spontaneous moment, the invisible barriers of our social constructs (differences in physical ability or background) vanished. They were instantly replaced by a feeling of connection that transcends our constructed differences cutting straight to the heart of our shared humanity, the one thing that truly connects us all.
This brief encounter landed me in his living room, where he opened his home and heart to share a piece of his story with a level of intimacy and generosity I will never forget.
A Fighter
The term “fighter” is often used loosely, but after meeting Steven, I finally understood its true, life-and-death meaning. Steven has been navigating life from a wheelchair since a significant vehicle incident in 2003. The physical toll was catastrophic; he died three times during the process and spent over seven months in intensive care. Today, he faces life with severely limited mobility and body function. Yet, despite these immense daily struggles, Steven always tries to greet the world with a smile.
Born in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, and calling Rock Springs home since age 13, Steven was fundamentally a man of action; a proud roughneck by profession who found deep fulfillment in being busy and working with his hands. Now living in assisted care, his greatest source of frustration is his inability to “do” as much as he wants. It is a struggle deeply felt by a lifelong doer wrestling with a body that can no longer keep his pace.
The Fighter’s Paradox
The most remarkable thing I realized about Steven was that he doesn’t live a lie or hides his emotions about his current state. He emotionally acknowledges the challengeshe has been through, admitting to the difficulty of finding a way forward in a world that no longer operates at his old pace. This refusal to mask the pain and frustration is precisely where his strength lies. He confronts his reality head-on, and that clarity fuels his extraordinary fighting spirit.
He teaches us a powerful lesson about not hiding our emotions and feelings about life. Expressing our truth allows space for understanding, healing, and connection. We all have issues we are dealing with, and we have to be honest and vulnerable about it. Being vulnerable does not show weakness; rather, it shows our strength in ourselves and in the belief that our truth is worthy of being heard. It shows courage because it requires us to drop the pretense and accept the full spectrum of our current reality; the good, the bad, and the chaotic. This act of vulnerability is not a surrender; it is the ultimate assertion of agency over one’s own story. When we share our honest struggle, we not only lighten our own burden but also grant others permission to be equally human. It becomes the foundational point for genuine connection and mutual support. I was beyond moved watching and experiencing Steven share this pain. In that moment, I acknowledged and created space for my own inner pain which I am often forced to hide.
Steven is also a lifelong man of faith who attends Victory Church every week. When I asked for his favorite Bible verse, he didn’t hesitate. He immediately recited John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Through the lens of Steven’s story, this verse reveals a profound lesson in unconditional value and enduring hope. By refusing to hide his reality, Steven lives out the truth of this verse, showing that while our circumstances may be difficult, our worth is anchored in something much deeper than our physical abilities or social standing. He reminds us that we are not loved because we are perfect, nor do we need to be “fixed” to be worthy of love. Rather, we are loved in our entirety.
Wisdom Beyond Circumstance
Despite the daily struggle, Steven is full of life and radiating excitement. When I asked him if he had any piece of advice for me or anyone out there, he stated “If you get the opportunity to help others, do it, because you might need that one day. He added “See people for who they are and not what you heard about them. That is very hard to find.” His advice affirms the essence of life, which is rooted in our interdependence, while encouraging us to reject assumptions and biases, taking the often-difficult step of seeing people for who they genuinely are by approaching every individual with curiosity and respect to understand their reality.
Steven’s reality is undeniably challenging, yet his spirit remains truly unbreakable. He has faced the ultimate test but still has the spirit of a warrior. He is a living testament to the power of perseverance and vulnerability. He is a human who openly struggles, sometimes feeling weak, frustrated, and often hard on himself, but he maintains a loving welcoming presence and an enduring commitment to seeing the good in others. He is, quite seriously, a character you won’t forget once you interact with him.
My Takeaway
This one simple, initial act of curiosity and inquiry created a moment of profound connection that will stay with me forever. Despite the immense challenges he faces, Steven put an unmistakable smile on my face and in my heart that day. He generously shared a piece of his story and a piece of his heart, reaffirming my belief in the deep connection and understanding we can achieve once we move past our social constructs and the illusion of differences we often focus on. Stepping out of this narrow, illusory mindset allows us to see, understand, and experience our shared humanity.
Imagine a world where we radically open ourselves to truly knowing others, regardless of their circumstances or background. This to me, is the very world exemplified by the core of Steven’s faith; the radical acceptance modeled by ‘God’s only begotten Son’ while walking this Earth.
This is a world I hope we can all strive to build through simple, everyday acts of curiosity, inquiry, and connection.
